You didn't really just say that did you . . . .

I ran a difficult conversation I had with a friend yesterday past the rest of the girls in my Feritlity Group to see how they would feel in this situation. I asked my mommy besties and obviously thought it was uncalled for but lets see how women who are going thru the exact same thing as me respond to it.

HERES MY EMAIL :

Well ladies I had an interesting conversation with one of my friends thats been such a giant challenge thru my infertitily journey by not being able to grasp or even try to put her self in my shoes during this whole huge challenge in my life. Yesterday was the icing on the cake. I tried to get her to understand that its BOTH of us that have put this strain on our relationship. 1 - because of what I have been going thru and 2 - because she is a very hands on mother that doesnt seem to EVER be with out her child. No one else is good enough to watch him. She basically has set herself up to NEVER be able to have child free time then complains that she doesnt have all the LUXURYS of PAWNING her kid off on other people (those were her exact words as if my other frieds have servants to watch their kids while we do girlfriend things and they at least respect the fact that my fertility journey has left me weak mentally for being around mothers and their children during long durations of time). She said that she doesnt have the luxury to pawn her kid off on someone refering to one of my other best friends and then said im sorry my kids not 5 and can entertain himself. HES TWO HE CAN ENTERTAIN HIM SELF AND if she wasnt such a control freak shes be able to have free time. If she would just admit that her control issue is basically the reason she has issues with EVERYONE in her life then wed be able to move past this. Frankly at this point I dont even think we can with the last text she sent me that I was so angry I didnt even reply to because it was way to insensitive to even respond to.

HERES THE LAST TEXT FROM HER AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK <3

"I just explained the whole sitch to you about childcare and I'm sorry but I DO this this YOUR problem bc I think it is extremely rude to even ask what your asking of ALL your friends not just me so maybe thats why I think you should be the one making the extra effort... I'm not saying wanting to hang out with out kids is wrong but 2 say I'm not going 2 ever with them is a hard pill to swallow .... I really don't want this to be taken in a mean way but what if you and Nick can never have kids what happens then ?

I HISTERICALLY CRIED OVER THIS LAST TEXT BECAUSE I THINK TO SAY THAT TO ME PRETTY MUCH SOLIDIFIES UR NOT MY FRIEND UR JUST A FUCKIN BITCH THAT CANT ADMIT HER OWN FAULTS and would rather make me feel like shit than meet me half way on our issue. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. thanks <3

So I'll let ya know what their responses were.

Ya know its easier to say the things that she says when she FORTUNATELY has none of the issues I have but I wonder how she would want to be treated if the shoe were on the other foot.She never has sympathy for anyone if theyre going thru something she doesnt relate to. I shouldve known when she basically told me my anxiety was ridiculous one day because she thinks its just this made up thing because she NEVER has anxiety. I have never said I do not have faults I understand this issue has not only been dificult on me but also anyone close to me having to deal with me when maybe they dont want to at times. I feel bad often for this being the dominating conversation I am always talking about but THERE IS NOTHING I WOULDNT DO FOR MY BEST FRIENDS IF THEY NEED THE SUPPORT AND THOSE WHO ARE SUPPORTING ME THRU THIS HUGELY DIFFICULT TIME IN MY LIFE IM INDEBTED TO because it is truely beyond words apprectiated . <3 Ai yai yai <3