continued . . . .

Pam

Steph - My husband said something interesting to me the other day which came to mind when I read your email.  I mentioned in group the other day another close friend of mine told us she was pregnant.  So we were talking about it the other night and I asked my husband if he was doing ok after hearing the news?  And he said yeah of course he was a little bothered by it but he also said he was concerned about loosing their friendship and that made me think.  Lately not by our faults......everytime a friend of ours gets pregnant we remain friends but the second that baby is born the friendship starts to separate.  At first we hear the excuses that they have so much going on with a new born that they can't get out of the house.  Then months fly by and they can't go out because they can't get a babysitter.  Then it's the kids first birthday party and guess what we get to see them because then it's all about the kid!  Only it's not where we want to be.  But we always end up going feeling like we have to "to be a good friend" because we haven't seen them in so long.  So to get to my point we both realized besides feeling shitty about all of our friends having kids now we realize we're loosing all of our friends because they would rather hang out with couples that have kids than us.  We're running out of friends!  It's really sad.... 

think of this........ isn't a friend a person who is there for you always and to support you?  So why are people that make us feel so crappy called our "friends"?  Unfortunately throughout this process it seems like we have all lost friends one way or another.  We have to do what's right for us.  Having positive and supportive people in your life right now is so crucial to all of us.  Good luck with whatever you decide to do.....

Jen C.

 I feel the same way and actually my husband was the one who noticed that we are losing our friends. I wish that things could stay the same but unfortunately we are not part of that club and I feel like people don't invite us to some parties anymore because of our situation, so we have the shit end of the stick both ways...do we get invited and feel miserable there? Or be singled out and not invited?

Steph,

You need to drop her like a bad habit!! If not forever then for a while, people will just never get this pain we go thru, maybe she will realize eventually. I've had to drop a few too, if there good friends they need to be more supportive and that shouldn't be so hard to do.

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(Jenn,

Thanks for the advice. I was considering ordering online since I know I can't handle the store.  I am having it shipped to her house...can't have the items in the house.)

THIS WAS ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE BUT I ALSO WANTED TO POINT OUT THAT I HAVE GONE ON ALL MY BEST FRIENDS REGISTRIES TO LAUGH, HAVE FUN AND SUPPORT SO I DONT EVEN CACOON FROM THE STORES EITHER AS HARD AS IT IS. I EVEN WENT BACK FOR ALL THE RETURNS FOR JEANETTE WE WERE PRETTY INSEPERABLE AS HARD AS IT WAS WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT. WHY SHE CANT REALISE THAT SINCE ALEX WAS BORN OUR RELATIONSHIP DETERIORATED IS BEYOND ME. NOT TO MENTION IVE GONE TO DRS. VISITS, SONO APTS, EMERGENCY ROOM RUNS AND 4 HOUR SUGAR TESTS. YA KNOW WHAT THE MORE IM WRITING THE MORE IM NOTICING IVE DONE ALOT STILL WITH THIS SUPPOSID ISSUE I HAVE SO AGAIN I SAY.. . . FUCK YOU YA BITCH. 
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Doreen

 And the losing friends issue is a huge problem for us also....we r the only couple out of all our friends who don't have children...they all have at least one if not more. We r the only ones not invited to the kids bday parties b/c they tell us they don't want us to b bored...and when we do go we are the only losers there w/ out any children...and the best is that we have a huge st.patricks day party every year at our hse and the first two yrs my husb and I looked around and were like wtf there r more baby bottles than beer bottles in our hse right now and strollers and car seats everywhere...the last straw was when my cousins wife was breast feeding on the couch in our living room...I was like REALLY!!!!!  So from then on the invitation says ADULTS ONLY and many people took offense to this...we used to have.  around 60 people and now its down to like 40 b/c we here that they can't get babysitters or even better...I work all week so I feel guilty if I don't spend the wknd w/ my kids...don't they realize that they also need some adult time and is a drunk fest st. Paddys day party really a place for children anyway??  Then two wknds ago we invited about 20 couples over on a Saturday night...we gave them well over a mths notice...10 couldn't make it b/c of babysitting issues and 4 canceled that morning b/c of babysitting issues....out of 20 couples 6 showed up....how pathetic...my husb said we better start inviting kids or we won't have any friends left...I did the math and we would've had 37 kids at our hse from those 20 couples....that's just totally unreasonable....and then when we r lucky enough to get together with our friends without their kids we just sit and listen to them talk about them all night anyway....so maybe all of us should get together instead :)